Caregivers find it incredibly difficult watching someone they
love experience pain. Chronic pain and discomfort destroys the
ability to enjoy each day and can have a significant impact
on relationships. Caregivers commonly feel helpless. But there
is help.
Today, there are treatments that can usually relieve most pain. Work with your loved one's cancer care team to ensure the person you love receives appropriate medications and services to temper their discomfort.
Knowledge is power. Ask questions. Learn as much as you can about what causes your loved one's pain and methods to control it. Write down information the health care team gives you to keep as a reference. Know their options.
Serve as an advocate for your loved one. Patients often hesitate to complain. Ask about pain and truly listen, even though it seems difficult. Tell the doctor how pain is affecting daily life for your loved one. Help them learn to use a pain scale to rate the intensity of discomfort. You can obtain a free pain scale by calling 1-800-833-3533.
Help your loved one keep a pain journal. Note responses to medication and other therapies, so the doctor will know what produces the best results and about unacceptable side effects.
You may need to remind your loved one to take prescribed medications as ordered or help keep track of the drugs. Controlling pain before it becomes too severe offers the best chance of relief. Monitor how much pain medication is left and call the pharmacy early for a refill. Always keep at least a three-day supply of pain medication in the house.
Ask the doctor or nurse about additional interventions, such as warm baths or a cool washcloth to the brow. If the doctor agrees, learn how to give a gentle massage. Offer distractions—listen to music, play cards or watch a movie together.
Most importantly, remember to take time for yourself and care for your own needs. Caregiving takes an emotional and physical toll. Make sure you eat regular, nutritious meals. Get enough sleep. If bone pain keeps your loved one up at night, nap during the day, when your loved one rests. Schedule exercise breaks. A 20-minute walk in the fresh air can help the mind and the body.
Welcome assistance. You do not have to go it alone. Create
a list of tasks in need of doing. When someone offers help,
suggest he or she take care of one item on your list. Or ask
the person to sit with your loved one so you can do it yourself.
You'll feel a sense of accomplishment as you cross off completed
chores. Tap into community resources
and support groups.
Set aside an hour or an afternoon just for you. Read a book, watch a movie, lunch with a friend. Caregiving can become isolating. Friends often don't know what to do. Let them know that just being there, willing to listen, helps.
